Working out isn't enough

This year I want to get back in to shape, better shape than I've been before. The BolderBoulder, 14er hikes, a week long 3 mountain 14er hike extravaganza, skiing. These are all things I want to get in to better shape for. I had a list of resolutions that I was going to stick to. Of course, after my first day, I realized it was ridiculous to expect me to change all my bad habits in one day. I've been told that this is a problem of mine, that I set my expectations too high, that I expect too much of myself and then I, ultimately, fail.

So, I tried a different trick. How about just "more working out" and "quit caffeine" for starters. I knew on the one hand that these two would be most likely the easiest of my goals to achieve because I'd done both of them before successfully. And what do you know. After a month, I'd quit caffeine and was working out 6 days a week. The quitting caffeine hasn't been enormously successful, but I'm not a super addict.

I don't want anyone to get me wrong (which you might do as I go further into this): I am incredibly proud of working out pretty much every day. Not only is this a major accomplishment, but I feel so much better about myself when I do it. It's completely changed my attitude about a lot of things, especially those aspects of my life that had been more difficult.

What really kicked my ass in to gear about the working out was when I stepped on the scale and realized that if I was going to be in the shape I wanted for this summer, I would really have to change. I'd gained 10 pounds in the last six months. I couldn't handle that. I'd gotten pretty good at maintaining my weight. Granted, it was a weight that I didn't exactly want to stay at, but I certainly was okay with it. I worked hard to stay there, but I was there.

Then suddenly my whole routine changed. I broke my jaw. I went to Italy for 2 weeks. I fell in love. Although these were mostly good events, breaking my jaw threw everything off. And change in general has made it hard to stick to good habits. I don't want to begin to describe the wonderful foods I ate in Italy. And I don't regret for one minute those foods. And I'm happy I feel in love. I'm happy with that aspect of my life, but being in love for me also means that I seem to care less about what I eat.

So here I am. I've been working out wonderfully for a month and when I stepped on the scale a couple days ago...I'd gained 1.5 pounds. I knew I'd been eating more...the working out had increased my appetite like crazy, but I'd been hoping that just listening to my body and my cravings with my new regimen would put me at weight maintenance. Not so.

Let me tell you friends, it is so incredibly frustrating stepping on the scale seeing the numbers go up after working out that hard. But I knew the main problem. It was a problem that I was hoping to ignore. But now it seems like I'm going to have to face it. Food. My major downfall.

Food has always been the hardest part for me to master. I love food and I have some bad habits when it comes to this. I know a lot about food. I love reading about it, learning about it, often very healthy habits. I know what foods are bad and what foods are good. But that's just a first step. It doesn't really tell me: okay Dana, now that you know what to eat, here's this weeks list of groceries and recipes. Knowing the theory doesn't always make it easy to execute.

Not that this is a good excuse, but I'm also a notoriously discriminating eater. I'm avoiding the word picky here because it doesn't quite paint the right picture. I like most foods, I'm just particular about how they're prepared. For example: I can't stand raw celery stalks (even with peanut butter)...biting in to them makes me gag (a combination of the texture and the flavor). But chop it up and put it in chicken salad (or something similar) and I'd swear up and down that celery is genius. I also love very flavorful foods...vinegar...spice...salt...sugar of course.

And I know one of the rules of successful healthy eaters is that you still have to enjoy what you're eating. If you're unhappy with food, you're doomed to fail. What else do I know? Superfoods! White sugars/breads/pastas are bad (eat yummy whole grains)! Eat fresh fruits and veggies! Combine your food groups in meals! Shall I go on? Because I can. Most of what I learn now about food isn't revolutionary. Many things I learn now are just good little tidbits to tuck aside.

But how do I execute this? One baby step at a time, like I did with the exercise? Yes that was my thought too. Okay, I said. Time to cut out sugar next. In retrospect, it might have been better to start with something else, or to try limiting sugar first (I know, by the way, that I will never completely give up sugar. I'm not deluding myself about this. I also know that my body needs to be detoxed from this processed punk in order to get rid of these pesky cravings). So that didn't work. Every day I'm bombarded with sugar. Through my own doings but also in my work environment. What is it about free food that we just can't turn down? Try. I am. I am trying.

So here's where I'm at. Utterly frustrated. I do not want to keep busting my butt working out only to see those numbers go up on the scale. If those numbers go up, I'm not getting in to the shape that this summer and my life desires. Getting rid of some of this body fat is just what should happen for a girl that's fit, that wants tackle some hard core climbs. And I do. I love being active, and I hate feeling hindered by my own body, by limitations I can control.

But food is still a problem. It is the problem I have to change. Not just temporarily, but permanently. I'm not looking for an eating disorder (so not my style), or Atkins or South Beach (don't get me started on ketosis) or any other fad diet, or veganism (although it was wonderful the first time, I can't live like that forever...I'm still considering it as a future detox now and then though). That just won't do the trick. But if I'm not sticking with a plan (that's often what fad diets give you), it's harder to know what to do, what to eat.

So I'm still frustrated. But at least I know it. At least I'm trying to figure it out. I'm not giving up. And tomorrow is a new day. So what should tomorrow be? What should that goal be? Okay...thinking...starting small...what can I realistically do?

Okay, tomorrow start's a new habit (one that I'm much better at during the week than on weekends): fruits and or veggies with every meal. Every meal. Mmm! Stay tuned to see how I do...